apple picking with my top picks

A few weeks ago, we headed to the mountains and took the girls apple picking. This is a fall tradition for us and has often turned into a "birthday road trip" for me over the years.

little babies in 2011 at the top of carter mountain 

In 2011, Ben called me on my birthday, told me to get ready and picked me up from my college dorm for a surprise day trip to Charlottesville. Back then, "Carter Mountain" wasn't an overused fall catchphrase in Virginia. It was quiet, new, and charming. It was both our first time and that day remains a special dating memory (where he actually gave me my first piece of jewelry, too!)

This year was Darcie's third time, but the first time she actually "got it" and subsequently talked the whole 2 hour drive home about picking apples and eating "eenuts" (donuts). She was our designated taste tester, but didn't quite excel at her position as she bit into apples from the ground and declared "mmm yummy!"

Banks dozed in the Solly wrap and looked cute while doing it. She's our chill kid currently. She watches her big sis, always with those cute eyebrows raised, as if to say, "woah, you can do that, too? you're the coolest ever." All the while DJ practically runs up the mountain, talks to everyone in her path, gives us a full-on commentary every step of the way, and somehow finds a "walking stick" that *ALMOST* went home with us.

It's a sweet season we're living out. The nights are long and the adult conversation is short, often interrupted by hungry tummies or the repetitive "mama! mama! mama!" But I love scheduling and committing to days like this. Making adventure work. Making memories. Making exploration happen or so help me! It's a beautiful opportunity we have to show our children the playground of the world.

Even though Carter Mountain is crowded now and the traffic makes you wanna turn around, we still go every year to pick apples. And I pick this trip again and again. Because I love Virginia in the fall. I love the blue ridge mountains. I love the memories attached to this place. I love putting sweaters on my girls and telling them we're going on an adventure. Because I love the car ride with Ben where we listen to whatever new album we're loving. I love the coffee in hand and the car naps and the anticipation of a family day spent with the ones I love. Because I love the apple cider donuts and the autumn colors and the winding road and red barn when you get to the top and the scenic views and the hand holding & baby carrying & apple fetching where strong arms help little arms reach the highest ones.

long live all the magic we made

The state fair makes me THE MOST nostalgic. We don't make it every year, but I'm turning THIRTY this month so when Ben asked how I wanted to kick off my birthday month, I immediately decided a family trip to the state fair would be IT.

It was magic. Even though we were in the throws of potty training, we managed! I realized it was Darcie's first time in a public restroom so by the end of the day, we had made many, many trips to try and pee in the "pee pee place" as she so creatively named it.

Fried oreos were a crowd favorite and we brought plenty of snacks we could throw in front of DJ anytime she yelled "hotgog!" or "fwies!" (since fair food will break your bank if you let it!) I took her on her first ferris wheel ride and it was a moment, for sure. Although, hands down, the petting zoo was her most favorite part.

Here's a little 1 minute video of the sights and sounds of the fair!

mother's day & 41 weeks

Day before mother's day, 2019....

41 weeks pregnant...

10:05pm and thunder storming. Ben & I are on the couch, watching Friends and listening to the rain.

The house is clean. All the projects and honey-dos are done. Pots and pans are washed and put away from the delicious homemade spaghetti sauce Ben made for dinner, to which he then turned around and whipped up chocolate chip cookies that Darcie calls "tooties" or "teats" (treats). We did bath time and bedtime all together, savoring it a little extra, and letting Darcie play in the tub a little extra -- because who knows what life will morph into over the next few days. Ben read We Are The Gardeners in our nightly reading spot in the rocking chair. Darcie loved pointing out the bugs and flowers and baby.

Speaking of flowers, Ben came home with some earlier today. Because oh yes, it's Mother's Day tomorrow. Although, I keep forgetting this weekend holds any special meaning because I'm so preoccupied with birthing a baby -- or the fact that I haven't yet. He handed the first bouquet to Darcie in the kitchen out of sight, whispered something to her, and she proudly came around the corner with her little hands grasped onto white tulips, grinning ear to ear while obediently handing me the bouquet. Ben came behind her with a second bouquet and a quiet, "Happy Mother's Day, mama." My heart melted at the gifts I already have.

We're waiting to meet our baby girl who will make our other little girl a big sister. The sweetest & fiercest big sister there was. It's all so surreal -- knowing your heart is going to implode and double in size soon to let another little one in, yet all the while looking at your sweet 21 month-old and wondering how you'll ever love another like you love her wild and silly self?

Tonight, as Ross & Rachael "go on a break", I'm distracted by my own thoughts of change. The good kind, but the kind that stretches you and breaks you and burdens you all the same. How will I do at balancing life with two? How in the world did my mom do it with 10?! How will I give them both what they need when they need it? How will I overcome the guilt when I fail? How will I make sure I give myself grace? How will I keep my wife hat on straight with a busy toddler and dependent newborn? What will our new daughter look like? Sound like? Be like? How will she be different from her sister? How will she be the same? Daddy is holding out for blonde curls and blue eyes. My sister told him that is quite specific and includes a lot of recessive gene requests. I will be perfectly happy with a third set of dark chocolate brown eyes to love & get lost in. We yearn to know her...feel her on the outside, see her take her place in our family.

In these waiting days (and they have been longggg), I have tried to be intentional in soaking up Darcie time while also preparing my heart to enlarge...and welcome a new little sisterhood into our home! I find myself in Darcie's room, envisioning it with tandem playtime, snuggled up reading books, magical memories that these sisters will share.

Tonight with Friends episodes in the background, my heart & head is holding hold onto the ordinary, insignificant moments that are everything to me -- gathering them up and cherishing them and knowing they'll be the ones I'll yearn to relive.

Like the sticky spots on the window from Darcie's little hands touching the glass as she waits and watches for Daddy to come home.
Or the Sunday afternoons spent snuggling in our bed, watching mickey mouse on my phone for way too long...her cheek against my cheek, loving the rise & fall of her contented breathing.
Or the way she without fail scoots across the couch to sit nearly on top of me while we watch a show together -- and then her baby sister inevitably moves underneath my skin, a jab here or kick there, already getting in on the action in her own way.


Throwaway moments or revolutionary moments...it all depends on perspective.

So to the girl sitting on my belly and to the girl cozy in my belly...thank you for giving me the most precious gift, the gift of motherhood. You are my life’s work. My calling. My own small mark on the future of this world. I will gladly go the distance with you...on the big days & the daily days, the grand & the grind, the loud “I love yous” & the quiet stillness of just knowing you’re known & seen & believed in. I love being your mom & look forward to seeing you BE SISTERS.

Now, come on, baby girl....we can't wait to love you. I can wait to be to you what I am to Darcie. Your mom. The one you'll need and love as fiercely as I need and love you.

babymoon round 2

Mostly pics, but just had to dump some good ole memories from our little getaway (40 miles from home) that was SO restful and relaxing and vibey. 

Some highlights:

- All I wanted was a tub in my room. All I wanted was a luxurious bath. Sweet husband tried so hard during check-in but the only room with a bathtub is only booked through corporate and not even Kanye West got that upgrade when he was last chilling in Norfolk, VA (allegedly).

- We strolled japanese gardens and snapped pics in a reflection of a macaron shop with the city scape in the background and just so happy in the moment.

- There was a photo booth at the rooftop restaurant that we frequented every night. We watched the lights on the water and curled up by the fire pits, talking, laughing, dreaming.

- Bath robes and coffee was a thing in the mornings. Who knew you could be so happy to just sit and look out a window at ships in the harbor? 

- Local coffee always. But also, overalls might not be the best when you're 37 weeks pregnant having to pee every 10 minutes.

- Our niece, Brighton Eliana, was born halfway through our time away so we took a detour to welcome her to the world (and also kiss our little DJ while we were at it 'cause you know). 

- The food. Fresh salads, eggs and bacon for breakfast, funnel cake fries dipped in nutella, ramen bowls, frozen yogurt, and let's also not forget the enormous pretzel with beer cheese. Praise the Lord.

- A fire ravaged Notre Dame and we watched the footage and read the headlines, heartbroken, with the rest of the world. 

- Exploring the city, but also super content to find little corners in our hotel, plop down, and talk for hours...because the hotel was that beautiful. And the natural light was that superior.

- Strolling main street with my main squeeze.

- Anticipating our baby girl. And holding our breath for the future while relishing the quiet togetherness we shared.

What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet.