Letter to my girls from 2020

Dear Darcie & Banks,

Happy new year, baby girls. 

And boy, aren't we happy to have made it through this one.  

What a wild, whirlwind, keep-you-guessing, leave-you-breathless year 2020 proved to be. You'll read so much about it in your history books, but I want you to know from my heart to yours: this year was truly a gift to live because nearly every waking moment was spent with you. Every. waking. moment.

I won't lie and say there weren't rough spots. Moments where your dad's and my emotional, physical, mental strength reserve tanks were running on near empty. Moments where we cried over what we saw on the news or sat up late into the night talking about what in the world was happening in our world. Moments where we had to let go of things we hold dear or throw our hands in the air at a loss for how to get through. Feeling stuck, even frozen in time, which resulted in bickering and debating and challenging and making up and saying sorry.  I remember moments of saying no to worry and yes to trusting God. And then moments where the stillness seemed to swallow us. 

Yes. The price of this pandemic has taken its toll on everyone. Everyone has felt its effects and navigated its damage. Everyone has had to process and grieve in their own way. 

But somewhere in the middle, specifically in mid-April as the flowers bloomed and spring brought fresh life, I was reminded to be gentle with myself even in the struggle. Because growth is there. And when you power through with grit, you get to see the growth. So I resolved to stop resisting stillness. Stop fighting the gift of slowing, listening, and learning. Loosening my grip meant readjusting goals, plans, trips, birthdays, and my overall outlook on life. 

But my pandemic practice took form and eventually became my mantra. Pause, ponder, & pray. So much was uncertain this year, but there were certain GIFTS in the midst of it all and certainly a God above it all. Open ears and heart. Stop and savor the present. Lean into emotions. And make prayer my go-to, not my last resort. I started praying more over your lives. Over your dad. Over our family and friends and friends of friends. Over our next steps and business plans and dreams and finances. I started believing for provision and favor. I started the shift in my perspective. Pause. Ponder. Pray. 

In January of 2020, one year ago, I decided to start a gratitude journal. I had no idea what was coming. Or to what extent my gratitude would be tested. It was a bit of a whim. I wanted to get back to writing things down, but I knew I couldn't consistently keep up with anything too commitment heavy. And while I used to keep journals, I haven't in years. But I felt a nudge to be acutely aware of my abundance going into 2020. To write down the gifts and help center myself in the ebbs and flows of life. And of course, now I know why. 

One year later. I've learned to count my blessings instead of counting my losses. I enjoy adding up gifts instead of adding up risks. I continually purpose to choose prayer instead of panic. And I focus on delighting in the little things within my home instead of dreading the big things out there in the world. 

The best beauty exists and is encapsulated within our little home. Home became everything. And you, Darcie and Banks, were everything to us. There was quiet in the world. All kinds of delicious quiet. 

And quiet became our friend. Stillness our everyday rhythm. Patience became our practice. Contentment became our joy. Your amazing dad helped me get through. I leaned on him at the end (and during every waking moment, let's be honest) of my every day. On days when I felt down, he had that extra pep in his step to make another day another adventure with you girls. He and I became a team. We worked together and picked up the slack for one another. We learned how to co-parent two little toddlers. And we made it.

Along the way, we also saw how amazing our little toddlers actually are.

You were our perpetual bright spot. Our shining light. The glue that stuck us all together. Your smiles when we needed them, bouncy personalities that snapped us from the couch into dance parties, and eager eyes full of unconditional love. You didn't let the wear & tear of 2020 wear you down. In fact, you were oblivious to the weight of this year and instead, helped us as mom & dad weather it with grace. Because we had you. You were resilient, optimistic, and flexible. The world asked children to do hard things this year. And I'm so proud we all made it together. I realized how much FUN we're capable of having every single day for like an entire year. The four of us. We did it. 

There is peace knowing that if all material goods or comforts were stripped away, it would still be okay because my heart remains here with you. And I am happy.  

And you are happy. And that's what matters. 

Your tiny lives. The tiny balls of energy that constantly brought us back to laughter, wonder, tickles, routine, play, teething, and teaching one another how to fully love life -- amidst a pandemic & all. 

Cheers to 2021. To a hopeful future, a new little sister, travel & parties & playgrounds & a fresh start. And yet still protecting that stillness...sacredly shared between us. 

I love you,

Mama

2019 in 365 seconds

Isn't it wonderful to know some of the best days of our lives are still ahead of us?

I documented the year we welcomed our newest daughter by taking 1 second video clips everyday, then compiled them using this app. This project was actually a New Years resolution and I'm proud I stuck with it!! I'm posting late, but since 2020 has been crazy so far, it's nice to revisit memories that bring joy while reminding myself that no season lasts forever. I'm deciding to continue this project this year -- 1 second clips to time capsule these quiet days at home. I think I'll appreciate them someday.

I encourage you to find ways to document these strange times. Pictures of your kids printed out, quarantine crafts saved, songs or poems written, videos created, gardens planted, letters written, journal entries to look back on, baby books completed. Tap into your own creativity! Don't simply exist, but choose to experience.

So here's to the little moments, the glimpses beyond the highlight reel, the growth & change that happen in the day in and day out, the way our lives strand together to create one story laced with beautiful, funny, and tragic moments.

And may we embrace the right now so one day we'll look back on 2020 and remember it fondly.

count your blessings not your losses

It's 2020 & the world is unlike anything we've ever known. It's strange & scary & surreal. And it seems selfish how much time we have together -- our little family. Everyday another day just us, isolated from what's going on out there. From the sickness, the empty streets and closed shops, the healthcare heroes who are leaving their families everyday to care for others. The simplicity of what our day-to-day life looks like now is too standard in the face of a pandemic. Waking up, wondering if we should have eggs or granola or both. Deciding between a Star Wars or Lord of the Rings marathon. Figuring out how to spend another day occupying a toddler and baby. Getting to spend every waking (& sleeping) moment with Ben. Baking, board games, cleaning out the garage, finally painting the kitchen cabinets. Being home in a house we love so much. The inside is insulated. But the chaos from the outside comes calling. The bad news we're bombarded with, the restlessness, the regulations, the confinement, the questions.

Last week, our governor announced a "temporary stay at home" order we all knew was coming. But the date "June 10th" took the wind out of my I-can-do-this-quarantine thing sails. Suddenly, I found myself grieving the small stuff...easter egg hunts, sundays in church, Banks' first birthday party, more time away from family & friends, Busch Gardens trips, farmers market mornings, Darcie's ballet classes, traditions put on hold, vacations cancelled.

It's crazy how quickly we forget how fortunate we are that the most we're being asked to do is stay home.

SO. I'm shifting my perspective. Choosing faith when fear comes sweeping in, when financial strain adds burdens. Choosing to smile at simple things and see that there's joy to be found in these jumbled and disrupting times.

Focus on the gifts instead of the risks, I tell myself. The moments of gratitude that bring calm and somehow burry the concern, if only for a few moments. I'm learning to see these, soak in these, and surrender the rest.

We are told to stay home to save lives. So here we are. On day 21 of quarantine in our house on Cranefield Place. So I'm counting blessings instead of counting my losses.

What I'm certainly grateful for in the midst of uncertainty:

- our new routine where we shut our laptops at 4:30pm and enjoy a family walk around the neighborhood

- not wearing make up 

- slowing down

- technology to connect with friends & family

- my job

- baking my mom's cranberry muffins that remind me of childhood

- getting outside everyday

- the blessing. on repeat (& Banks singing & swaying during "aaaaamen")

- buffalo chicken tacos

- every other dinner Ben has cooked the past two weeks
- church at home on my couch with coffee (never have I been more proud to be part of such a beautiful, strong, resilient, and unstoppable force called THE CHURCH)

- Darcie's first night in her bunk bed

- losing so badly at scrabble

- worship playlists (my favorite one HERE)
- healthcare professionals, first responders, military, teachers, and essential workers
- refinancing and saving on our mortgage in the the ACTUAL nick of time
- fancy tea parties at home with DJ and her dolls she calls kids

- our pristine duvet cover after bleaching it for the first time since being married

- Darcie telling me Banks is her "best fend" 

- a husband that hustles however he can in order to provide

- songwriting with Ben and his guitar
- uber eats

- my girls in matching pink overalls
- little pick-me-ups like a new plant in the mail or a good jam song

- empty beaches & sandy toes
- movie nights cuddled up on the floor in a sleeping bag with Darcie, pizza, and popcorn
- picking wildflowers on our walks
- the pride on Banks' face (and mine) when she finally learns how to pull up!
- Ben bringing coffee to my bed every morning
- time for us to talk and dream and argue
- reading this book every night before bed, which is quoted by the 2 year-old in its entirety
- national burrito day and free delivery at chipotle
- our double stroller

- new leaves on my fiddle leaf fig
- staying organized and nutritious with my handy dandy meal planner
- quaran-tune sessions with the newly assembled family band
- sleeping in while Ben gets breakfast for the girls
- zoom meet ups

- a warm slice of fresh baked bread with butter & jam
- watching spring unfold before our eyes
- waves from strangers and kind smiles in our neighborhood
- sister group chats where we exchange recipes, scriptures, memes, attempted new hobbies, and solidarity
- PJs all day
- teaching DJ the life skill and love language of homemade pizza
- love notes to the girls
- psalm 91 and psalm 42
- the smell of fresh cut grass
- Darcie's growing vocabulary & the way she definitively says "yeah. I fink so." when she's pleased with the choice she made
- the swing on our magnolia tree in the front yard
- snuggles on the couch watching Bluey when all else fails and we just. need. a. minute.
- the happiest smiles when B wakes up from her naps, her rosy cheeks, eager eyes, & red marks from her sheets successfully jolting me out of any funk
- sunshine & picnics, magic hour & bonfires
- balancing the belly laughs & exasperated sighs at trying to successfully co-parent while cooped up at home all day everyday
- Banks always there to bring the calm. the joy. the reassurance. Her tiny life yanking us back to simple wonder, the comfort of routine, easy laughter, and the importance of play.
- chances to teach our girls about Jesus through simple books like this
- the breakfast nook where we eat together as a family nearly every meal
- so much time for Ben to play with the girls...always a game on the agenda...daddy mountain, hide and seek, rocket ship, catch, monster daddy, puppy Darcie
- dance parties before bedtime
- time to think and pray and listen and write
- slowing down, self check ins, a soul refresh, maximizing the moment, deciding I will not waste this crisis

about time and about life

I realize that I've nearly completely neglected this beautiful little piece of me. I've missed blogging, but also been busy living...so I guess it's okay?

I'm in a season of stretching & trusting. I'm being pushed out of so many comfort zones (necessary!) and also trying my hardest to look to Jesus when things get sketchy & uncertain (also necessary). It's a funny thing -- trust. You worry about so many things in life and often the thing that creeps up on you to threaten your joy & peace is the last thing you ever thought to stress about.

I watched the movie About Time recently. It's full of british humor, face-palm time traveling escapades, and Rachel McAdams (whom I love soooo much). But it also provides some pretty good life advice that kinda stuck with me and even had me grabbing it a second time at redbox.

Like this quote about worrying:

"There's a song by Baz Luhrmann called Sunscreen. He says worrying about the future is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life will always be things that never crossed your worried mind."

Or this one about life in general and knowing when to stop stressing and start living:

"And in the end I think I've learned the final lesson from my travels in time; and I've even gone one step further than my father did: the truth is I now don't travel back at all, not even for the day. I just try to live everyday as if I've deliberately come back to this one day - to enjoy it - as it if was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life."

So my life may be ordinary. I may work a crazy schedule and have a huge family and be way too obsessed with quality time to actually accomplish tasks (or blog for that matter). I may be going through some health issues and growing into new roles and trying to figure out the future (futile endeavor). But hey! I am loved by Jesus, my husband, and my family. And sometimes when you're finding a new rhythm you see those types of things more clearly: like when your people bring you coffee, drop off Zoe's Kitchen for dinner, text encouragement, and give you the best hugs when you need them. And in all of it, I am reminded that this life really isn't about me at all. It's about whose name I carry. It's about showing people Jesus -- reaching out, showing up, being there. It's about making Jesus known and spreading his GOOD news to everyone I encounter. So really? I am living the extraordinary life. A life of ministry. A life of hope. A life of purpose. A life that's evolving, constantly taking new shape, and for that I am thankful because who likes to stay the same?

(Now who can help me with time management so that I have clean clothes to wear, painted walls in my house, friends who feel poured into, and me time to decompress?!)

first christmas for mr. & mrs. rothwell

{so late, I know…but life doesn't slow down for a blog…nope}

On Christmas night, as we drove home to the Treehouse after the craziness of all the festivities, Ben reached over and squeezed my hand. Something about this gentle gesture, although normal, caused me to look away from my iPhone and focus on my husband.

"This was the best Christmas I've ever had." He said, his voice quivering just a bit with emotion (shhhh don't tell him I told you).

So what could top last year when he showed up out of nowhere...wearing a suit, walking with confidence across the room, surprising me with a diamond, and telling me he wanted me forever? I mean, that was pretty perfect as far as Christmases go.

This time around, it wasn't a huge life-altering moment. It was a thousand moments stringed together -- like popcorn garland wrapped around a tree. A year later and a wedding later, we welcomed Christmas with new family: his becoming mine and mine becoming his, which naturally meant getting more gifts! But it wasn't the material excess that made the sweetness of the season. It was all the seemingly nothings, that turned into seamless everythings. It was the melodies of christmas songs drifting us to sleep, the quiet mornings when sunlight woke us instead of alarms, the "12 dates of christmas" adventures, the illuminated tree becoming our night-light -- it was the continual counting of gifts filled with grace that made it a truly special holiday.

One noteworthy gift I will never forget was Christmas morning, 7:30am, just the two of us cross-legged on the floor in the living room, straight-up acting like children. Ben presented me with my {material} gifts, but really he was unknowingly giving me so much more than that. First, he wrapped all of them himself. A miracle. Second, he tagged them and wrote a descriptive word that correlated the contents beneath the wrapping paper to his perspective of my character (he is so gracious and generous!)

i.e.

to my organized wife (a planner)
to my stylish wife (cardigans)
to my sweet wife (chocolate!!!!)
to my intelligent wife (a book)
to my dazzling wife (glitzy arm candy)
to my blonde wife (knit headband)
to my cozy wife (slippers & leg warmers)

etc.

It was a small moment between Ben and myself when I read those tags, savoring the words even more than whatever I would find inside. It was a quiet, meek beginning to Christmas morning. Not huge and abundant and extravagant. But it was exactly what put us in the true spirit of giving. The kind of giving that doesn't cost anything. The giving that comes from the heart and not the wallet. It was merely life-giving words. From my husband. Written on DIY gift-tags (for goodness sake, I cut Christmas trees out of paint swatches from Home Depot…totally didn't spend a dime).

The Lord gives in this way. He paid the highest price for us to receive a FREE gift -- the gift of salvation from the bondage of sin, the gift of grace despite our messy selves. Just like Ben did for me, God generously offers us life-giving words that can transform us and help us overcome. These words are found in Galatians 5: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control. These words I will treasure for always. The Lord's gift I will guard in my heart forever. Christmas truly is about that gift -- God himself -- who gave Christmas morning a humble beginning. He left paradise to be with his creation. And he came not as a strong, abled man, but as a baby -- a small, dependent, fragile baby. Birthed so we could experience re-birth.

With reminders like that, I'd say I agree with Ben: this was the best christmas ever. Because I serve a bountiful God who never stops bestowing our lives with richness and joy.

i.e.

christmas 2012: so happy

christmas 2013: even happier

hello, charlotte!

Ben is the lucky one. I never win anything, but he always scores big...like winning a 2 night stay at a Marriott in Charlotte, North Carolina.

So why not? We marked our calendars, ducked out of work early, and headed south for a weekend.

We didn't have much on the agenda, in fact, we were pretty boring while there. Our fun consisted of long walks through Freedom Park, afternoon drives in old neighborhoods with southern mansions shaded by tall oaks, two hours spent in wide-eyed wonder as first-timers at IKEA, a Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives tour organized by Ben Rothwell himself, antique mall shopping, and a visit to Elevation Church. 

We slept in every morning only to lazily trudge down to the full breakfast buffet, still in our sweats, of course. We ate oversized omelets. We leisurely sipped on coffee. With nowhere to be & nothing to do, we let conversation run wild, refilling our mugs repeatedly before finally neglecting the little table for two by the window. 

It was a quiet weekend. A weekend where I looked at the man in the driver's seat next to me or across the table from me or whose hand was in mine, and thought, yes, yes, yes, YES. A weekend where we decided to take the scenic route whenever we punched our next destination into the GPS. A weekend where we ate double dinners due to restaurant hopping. A weekend where we craned our necks and peered out windows to see all we could of this new place full of new experiences. A weekend where we drank the brisk air and embraced all the shades of fall. A weekend where we stopped the pace and centered on the peace. 

 A weekend of gifts, grace, gratitude.

"this gift will never let you down; this gift is waiting to be found"

This week I made an effort to list 20 gifts that have been flooding my life. Daily gifts that are discovered when I stop. recognize. embrace. and name. They may seem small -- insignificant to some -- silent, or simple. But to me they are beautiful and remind me that I have a beautiful life.

Here is the beginning of my goal to name one thousand gifts:

1. an earnest compliment from a sister
2. healthful meals after a salted caramel mocha splurge
3. my husband's oversized thermal shirts that fit just right when pulled over a pair of knees that are hugged to the chest on chilly nights at The Treehouse
4. a pot of chili simmering on the stove, announcing itself with aromas that escape the kitchen and roam throughout the house
5. my grandmother never, ever forgetting my birthday
6. $1 breakfast burritos on the weekends
7. boutique shopping where they sell the most darling dresses and give you your purchases in chevron gift bags adorned with ribbon bows
8. virginia mountains in the fall -- always hues of blue despite the exploding fire colors
9. listening to a whole album from start to finish and finding you love every song
10. the fall foliage that covers my parents' yard, taking me back to all those childhood afternoons spent begrudgingly raking crunchy leaves
11. scooping extra apple butter onto a toasted English muffin
12. that gravel road that takes me home -- the slowing of pace, the pops of rocks under the tires, and the tips of hundreds of trees bending to meet like an arch
13. french pressed coffee with mama, hearing about her dreams, and sharing an omelet on the patio of one of our favorite restaurants downtown
14. unable to resist biting into the reddest of apples while plucking them from trees at the orchard
15. walking through the door after a long day to find my husband cooking dinner amidst a cloud of steam in the kitchen
16. movie nights where we ditch the couch and spread blankets out on the living room floor
17. peeking into the oven (even though I know better) to see if the sugar on top of my homemade pie is sparkling yet
18. Ben's car parked in the driveway every day...still in total dreamland that we live together
19. birthday letters & cards in the mail
20. my favorite pair of strong arms sneaking around my frame from behind; a sweet embrace of interruption

*My quest for gratitude was inspired by the God-fearing, fascinating, and fellow canadian Ann Voskamp.  She is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, One Thousand Gifts. And it's been changing my life...one quiet moment at a time. Click HERE to hear a little tid-bit from the lady herself, click HERE to read her daily blog, and click HERE to purchase her book! 

rainy october

It's been raining for 6 days straight now. But I don't mind. 

Ben and I have been cutting our AC off, opening our door wide, pulling the screen shut, and listening to the drizzling rain as it starts and stops. Over and over again. The raindrops jump off the wood and occasionally, we'll watch leaves float to the wet ground. We get cozy on the couch with mugs of warm, spiced cider and then doze off to football games on TV. 

You are most loved at The Treehouse, sweet October. Thanks for the British weather as we ring in month 3 of marriage. 

"I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers" -- L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables 

"do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"

So, I don't know if I'll get through writing this post without crying. I have been such a weepy emotional basket-case. But I feel I am justified. My life will never, ever be the same again and has more promise, potential, excitement, and love than it ever has before.

Because...

I'M GETTING MARRIED.

I have to tell this to myself over and over again and I still haven't quite processed it. So what the heck:

I'M. GETTING. MAAAAARRIEEDDD!!!

I am engaged. A fiancee. Betrothed. Bride-to-be. Future wife. I have a ring on my finger!!!!!

One can imagine the state of my heart the past several hours. I've experienced every feeling from pure joy and elation, to sudden stress, to overwhelming happiness, to giddiness and anticipation, to peaceful satisfaction, to a zombie-like trance, to crocodile tears, to wedding dreaming, to staring in blessed bewilderment at my vintage ring (for minutes on end). UGH. But I have to say, despite the overload, one feeling has been a constant the past 47 hours.

I am humbly grateful.

I'm so utterly thankful that God prepared this too-good-to-be-true man for me. FOR ME! That he aligned everything in his timing, that he has done such a work in my and Ben's heart, that we are able to be together under God's favor, that the Lord is at the center of our relationship, and that HE will be glorified in our lives as a couple. WOW. Humbled. God fulfilled his promise to me -- the promise of creating and preparing and perfecting a human being meant solely for me and who loves me like I could never have imagined.

LOVE. That's another thing I'm feeling. So much love.

Song of Solomon says "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."

I waited, and waited. I never allowed myself to fall blindly in love, to love the wrong person, to make mistakes in the name of love. I wanted to save it all up in my heart so my husband could one-day experience every ounce of love that I never spent on anyone else. Every bit of it. I wanted to know what love is, without a shadow of a doubt, before I ever succumbed to it.

Well, I've learned what love is:

love is offering me his coat, in addition to mine, willing to suffer the cold of December
love is disarming me in an argument by lovingly saying my name or calling me "sweetheart"
love is staying by my side in a crowd, his hands always finding their way to touch me tenderly
love is involving my family in a proposal because he knew how much I wanted it
love is reassuring me when money is tight, saying he can take care of it all
love is wiping my tears...these days it's the happy kind
love is taking away my fears with kind words as we drive down the highway on Christmas night
love is when he sends me text messages from the back of the auditorium about how beautiful I am from his view
love is seeking out a jeweler for a vintage ring rather than a department store with mass production
love is him hugging four-year-old Anderson and calling him "brother"
love is surprising me with a salad at work because he knows I don't want to eat junk
love is turning around three hours later to pick me up from work
love is buying me a wedding planning book after I say I'm overwhelmed
love is being so agreeable, despite his opinionated self, and allowing me to plan the wedding of my dreams
love is him encouraging me to keep up my sister time
love is knowing exactly how I like my starbucks drink
love is refusing to let anyone try on my ring before the proposal
love is the smile in his voice when he answers my phone calls
love is what I saw in his eyes when he knelt before me, eyes misty, but voice strong and sure

Yes, love. I'm exploding with it. This man is everything I want. He shows me every inch of his heart, he gives to me generously, he is wise and faithful, kind and honest, respectful and passionate, assertive and caring. Things will never, ever be the same again because I have found the one my soul longs for. My heart is so full. I am so humbled by the Lord's provision and match-making. I have so much love to give, to share, to lavish.

The Lord is so worth trusting.
Love is so worth waiting for.

And I am so happy.

pardon me, the waterworks were aflowin' prior to this picture

"happy."

Today was beach day, or in other words, a good day. I finally whipped out my new straw hat, I applied the sun tan lotion, I packed the lunches, grabbed the towels, made the soundtrack, and off we went - me and my boy.

I often have epiphanies on really good days. I think this is because I am able to see things the way my heart longs to see things - purely - without the frustrations of life trying to sabotage my vision. I open myself up and soak in my surroundings in hopes of gaining new perspectives, new inspiration, new cleansing, and new ideas. Today, it was a revelation about the little moments.

For instance, Ben, although anxious to listen to his brand new cd, happily conceded to my showing him my "current top 3 songs that make me close my eyes and just sing." For instance, Ben quickly taking the cooler from me when he looked over to see me carrying it. For instance, Ben laughing/making fun of my weird habits, but laughing that I-actually-like-that-about-you laugh. For instance, kissing on the beach and feeling oh-so One Tree Hill-esque. For instance, simple small talk while laying on our towels in the sun. For instance, falling asleep in the car on the way home...and waking up to find my boyfriend holding my hand. For instance, enjoying Ben's horrified facial expressions when I got him to believe something completely unbelievable. For instance, knowing Ben would order a blooming onion at outback, and being really happy I didn't have to ask for it.

The little moments are the important moments.

In those moments I'm reminded that beyond the affection and the adoration, Ben is my best friend...and we truly have fun together. When discussing this tonight with my dearest Mikayla, she asked me,

"where's your heart, d?"

"happy," I say.

...for that's all that matters.

...that's the most important thing.

in the end, the "timeless romance" that is our dream may just end up being that "faithful friendship" that we always need.

"romance eventually fades. it doesn't raise kids or pay bills. but best friends? they can figure that out." - mikayla nicole :)