an ideal

In my Brit Lit class, we read a short story by James Joyce where the protagonist battles with the concept of life and death, only to find that the two are not so disconnected. Anyway, at one point in the story, he is watching his wife as they return to their hotel after a long, lively party, and he is overcome with memories of their marriage:

"he felt that they had escaped from their lives and duties, escaped from home and friends and run away together with wild and radiant hearts to a new adventure"

- James Joyce, The Dead

brianna lynette

I've known this girl since August 2010. She is a recent friend. My first memory/impression was of her laughing. We were in the hall doing some "ice breakers" the first week of school and most of our hallmates had dispersed back to their rooms or various activities. Bree and her friend were among the last (perhaps they were as desperate to meet people as I was) and they couldn't stop giggling over something unbeknownst to me. I was instantly drawn to and intrigued by this beautiful girl's infectious laugh. She was happy. And I like happy.

I couldn't have known how much I would grow to LOVE this happy, loyal, good, and selfless girl. I also couldn't have known that when I witnessed her demeanor that first night...she had just broken up with the love of her life -her first boyfriend- just a week or so earlier. Inside, she was hurt and broken. But I only saw radiance. I still do.

Bree:

- is a picky eater; her food preferences consist of rice with butter, pasta with meat sauce, french fries, olive garden, cookie dough, and she can put away an entire chanello's pizza.

- always wears unmatching socks.

- says, "like" a lot. ie: "I'm like, sweating", "I'm like, really hungry", "I like, love you", etc.

- knits scarves.

- is very generous.

- is cuddly. :)

On my 21st birthday, she came and spent the night in my room....even though her bed is just 20 steps down the hall; instead, she lugged her blankets down and crashed on my floor (which isn't comfortable, btw). Fortunately, we didn't do much sleeping. We snacked on hot pockets, easy mac and sour patch kids, stalked people on facebook, talked about break-ups and true love, our families, faith, and insecurities.

And we laughed. A LOT.

I'm so thankful for this kindred spirit who values friendship like I do and exemplifies consideration and love in everything she does. It's so hard these days to find REAL girls who want MEANINGFUL friendships and who ENCOURAGE you and say, "you look beautiful today" when you need it the most.

Where/how did I find her?!

randoms:

1) I miss my nephew right now. He's getting big in Texas (no pun intended) and I can't witness it. It's such a bummer. I want to feel his little teeth come in, see him crawl, rock him to sleep, snuggle him.....:(

2) I have been listening to some super good music. I need to share:

- "Little House" Amanda Seyfried

- "Ride" Cary Brothers

- "Jar of Hearts" Christina Perri

- "Feel This (Love Fall Down)" Enation

- "From the Ground" Lisa Gungor

- "War Sweater" Wakey!Wakey!

- "Marathon" Tennis

- "Thistle and Weeds" Mumford & Sons

- "The Ocean" Mae

3) Tony Romo is engaged. This was life-altering news.

The fiancee (sob) is the sister of this fine gentleman:

maybe I should just "settle" and marry him to be in the family? psh...settle. 

3) Chace Crawford (above) makes me miss Gossip Girl...new episodes return next week!

4) I really love how my professor fooled our class today and presented us with both Dixie Chicks and Green Day lyrics and told us to analyze the "poems" simply by the context. She told us their true identities at the end of class. Productive strategy, I think.

5) my best friend will be in VIRGINIA in um, approximately 1 month. I'm ready for fresh adventures, inspiration, memories, and everyday LIFE with this girl -- without the looming plane ride back to washington state. IT'S ON, M!

6) I have to read this book for my "Justice in Literature" course which I'll take in CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND this summer. This looks like an enticing read. I'm reeeally excited. And the fact that we get to VISIT the cathedral in which the book takes place? glorious.

7) The Virginia Symphony is performing "Carmina Burana" tomorrow night at the ferg. I so desperately want to go, but alas, have no one to accompany me. Not many people want to sit through hours of ancient music, it turns out.

8) I'm still looking for a job. Until then, I'm staying busy with my sweet hallmates, t.v. series on dvd, reading for english classes, reading of friends' blogs, and.....wow, my life is pretty lame.

9) I have been discovering the most amazing truths and reminders in Proverbs these days. Definitely more to come on that. I'm engrossed in the Bible as of late!

10) Perogies. Noodles stuffed with a blend of cheese and mashed potatoes. Cook them in vegetable oil, fry up some onions, add a side of sour cream for dipping, and wham -- delicious heaven. I may or may not be googling how to make them homemade right now.

11) I watched this movie last week with my mom and brother, Landon (yes, he watched the whole thing) which came out in my birth year: 1989. I loved everything about it --- the characters, the passion, the soundtrack, the elegance. The romance of this movie targets your heart...and your tear ducts.

12) my dad will be in India for Superbowl sunday. The Superbowl simply isn't anything without my dad. I'm kind of lost on what to do. Is that pathetic?

13) b. rothwell went to minnesota over christmas and shopped at the Mall of America. He brought me home a "cowboy boot purse." It's the most genius thing -- recycling cowboy boots and using the leather for trendy purses. It's my new favorite accessory. He says it is for the "wannabe texan in me."

hope, truth, bravery

Back in my hometown, Williamsburg, I used to drive the same route everyday. My family lives in what some call the "central" part of the city -- with the target, with the chick-fil-a...or I should say the orginals. There is now a new target and chick-fil-a, but everyone remembers the first loves. I live behind that shopping center. Down the road and to the left.

When going pretty much anywhere in Williamsburg, I always drive by the 199 overpass on Monticello Avenue. As people are coming on and off the highway, going about their days, maybe scared or lonely or happy, they were given a small gift. Just a little reminder. See, there was a phrase spray-painted onto the old, but not ancient, concrete wall with the mini-highway stretched above it.

"smile, things will get better"

short, simple. the words were even faded. but they were there.

I read that phrase a few hundred times. As did everybody else. It stuck out. There were no other drawings or words painted on the wall. Just this lone phrase. And it was smack-dab center, for all to read every time they passed by. It was written in black - nothing flashy, no pictures, no graffiti. It was nice. It served a good purpose. It told of hope: things will get better. It fostered happiness: just smile.

While home on Christmas break, I sat at a familiar stoplight...waiting to pass under the 199. I looked out my window at the gray cement of the overpass and read,

"no amount of paint can cover up my voice" with a lopsided heart next to the words.

I strained my neck to see where my little reminder of hope was displayed, but it was gone.

I felt sad, almost violated. Why would they paint over it? Why get rid of it? What harm did it cause? It wasn't profane, inappropriate, or political. It was showing love...in an unconventional way.

I thought about the rebuttal. "No amount of paint can cover up my voice." TRUTH. We each have a voice - a voice unlike anyone else's. And no one, and nothing, can take that gift away from us. You never know from which mind will spring the next great idea, the next beautiful invention, the next movement of love. We have things to say, things to share, things to do. We need to USE our VOICES.

I feel as if I need to clarify: I do not condone vandalism. In fact, I think it's one of the worst things to misuse or cause damage to something which is not yours, but this situation made me see from a different perspective.

Covering up the words someone says does NOT make them any less meaningful and does NOT mean they were never said. Covering it up is only hiding it and controlling it. That individual had a message of hope, and then another one --- even stronger --- a message that embodied bravery and power.

promising hope, truth, and even bravery,

destiny

ENGL 308

Today marked the beginning of spring semester 2011 at CNU.

I walked into my 11:00 am class (my second of the morning) and sat down with those butterfly jitteries. I stripped off my peacoat and scarf, glanced around at my fellow "english majors", and waited.

am I ready?, I thought.

Professor Marinova walked into the class right on time. She donned a short, cropped cut, big brown eyes, professional attire, and a beautiful bulgarian accent.

"so you're the lucky 25...you wouldn't believe the waiting list for this course."

We went over the syllabus and I slowly started feeling like I was shrinking...like I was in the wrong class...like I couldn't do this.

"this is going to be a tough semester"

"this is going to be the hardest english course you'll ever take"

"it won't be easy, but..."

"I bet you're counting how many times I say 'it will be a challenge'"

Yes, she reminded us throughout the entire class period what an undertaking this would prove to be. See, English 308W is "Literature, Theory, and Culture" where we essentially learn all the schools of literary theories, analyze literature, apply the theories, write critical analysis essays, read more literature, analyze more, memorize more schools of thought, look at literature through those lens...so on and so forth. It the "archway" for english majors. For me, it is the responsibility to myself to be equipped; it is the knowledge I need to distinguish why literature is good literature.

am I ready? I need to be.

- d

andrew louis

brother-in-law --- but SO MUCH more than that.

This man came into my life 5 years ago. He spiced up the Morrow family -- long before he officially became a part of it. He participated in long, tense spade tournaments (that usually resulted in yelling and fights), he suffered through countless chick-flicks for us, ate our baked goods, took us out for ice cream, treated us to chick-fil-a, and drove us around town - you name it, he would jump at the opportunity.

This past Christmas, I was blessed with having the little Louis family in Virginia for an entire month. I was reminded again at all the countless reasons why I love my big brother.

He always, always interacts in kindness and love.

He gives you hugs just when you need them.

He makes you laugh when you're mad.

He schemes plans for the day that only the "big kids" know about.

He likes my company when running errands.

His love language is FOOD (one reason we get along so well?)

He's happiest when there is fun, fellowship, family, football, and...yes, food. (--one of his many famous quotations).

He will do WHATEVER it takes to watch a cowboys game and go WHEREVER if it's not airing on t.v.

He is a good, good father. He has the "baby talk" down like a champ.

He's the husband my sister needs. He keeps her smiling...and he keeps us laughing at their little arguments.

He has really corny jokes...but for some reason, we always laugh really hard at them.

He loves each member of our family personally and unconditionally.

He now hates chick-flicks and we can't get him to watch them...which makes us suspicious of his apparent love for them as he tried to woo Taylor-Lynn...?

If he doesn't feel like eating what is planned for lunch, he'll borrow my car and go pick up something else.

He'll listen to me and my sister, B., gush about One Tree Hill over our Chipotle burrito bowls...and then check Netflix to see if they carry it.

He keeps up with old friends...loves them and prays for them.

He was made for my sister, therefore he was made for us.

The name "Andrew" means strong and manly. In the 5 years I have known him, he has lived up to his name. He is strong in the Lord, he displays strength in his marriage, and he has that unmatched strength of a father. And he is Taylor's man who possesses such extraordinary traits. He' the man who leads her, loves her, and the man that became her own personal Mr. Darcy. :)

My favorite thing about Drew is the way his love for the Lord is portrayed by the way he loves people. He acts selflessly and gives willingly; he leads and guides with confidence; he delights in the Lord and devotes himself as His servant – for all those things, Drew Louis will be blessed. And for all those things, I respect and cherish him.

mirror, mirror on the wall

I drive a lot. Driving is one of my most favorite past-times. Mostly for the music. And the option to go really, really fast. I especially love to drive with Ben. It's a sacred time for us, I think. I always feel as though we're being productive because we have a destination -- and negligent because we're doing absolutely nothing. It's during those times, however determined or lazy, that we share the best music, the best conversation, the best laughs, and the best closeness. Sometimes we're quiet - with our own thoughts. We may reflect on personal discoveries, or opinions, or questions, or memories that have drifted into our peaceful minds. Sometimes we share them, sometimes we don't. But the silence is welcomed, loved even. A popular question is,

"what are you thinking about?"

and the response is never, ever what is expected. It's hard to guess someone's thoughts, it turns out. And I like that.

My loyal friend (and Ben's disdained annoyance) on road trips is the familiar passenger mirror - you know, the one that folds down for make-up and last minute hair touch-ups. Well, if only I used it more for those purposes. Instead this is how it goes:

Ben is a very focused, careful, deliberate, (and slow), driver. Sometimes he gets SO lost in thought and focus that I have to take extreme measures. En route, I use the mirror provided to test the ugliest, most horrendous facial expressions I can conjure. Once the unattractive face is perfected and in place, I turn to look at Ben. He sees me from the corner of his eye after a few moments and laughs/groans. Mostly it's this,

"destiny, stoooop..."

or

"close that mirror!"

or

"ewww"

or

"wow, that one's the best...I mean worst"

BOY, do I love traveling with him.

love, d